Friday, 16 December 2011

Oh, fuck! It's snowing! It's fucking snowing! There's a small quantity of actual crystalline water ice falling from the fucking sky!

So I'm back on a bi-monthly posting cycle, am I? Jolly good.

I had draughted half a grumble about a Panorama episode's twaddle on Britain allegedly drinking itself to death, but then I forgot where I left my blog, and indeed its password, and now I'm not sure whether it's worth complaining about a programme aired months ago.

I might do it anyway, because without it -and this preface- there likely wouldn't be much of an update here at all.

By, “draughted half a grumble” I mean that I'd smeared a few keywords over a Word document, leaving me with the impression that I'd watched Panorama, it'd been about booze, and it'd annoyed me. And by, “Word” I mean... whatever I'm using now that I've gone all Linuxy. Evidently I can't be bothered to look up to the top left of the screen to read, “LibreOffice Writer”.

From the aforementioned half-grumble/keywords I can discern that the programme featured, amongst other things:

*The assertion that people are getting liver disease younger and in larger numbers than was the case thirty years ago

*Well-known reptilian David Cameron going back on everything he said about booze before the election

All, of course, presented in between dramatic scenes of projectile falling and repetitive cursing, before a cheekily slipped in reference to the fact that:

*Alcohol consumption in the UK is actually in decline


But we shouldn't let that deflect us from our sensational Crusade, for it gets middle-aged slurry-brains fired-up to see footage of young people in a state, so that they may say, “Ooh, I didn't see scenes like this in my day!

Yes you fucking did, you just don't remember it because you were pissed!

In more important and up to date news, I've been a bit ill, and now I'm mostly better. Another mucus-coated, sleep-deprived victory.

Meanwhile, there's still little sign of the London Congolese protests in the mainstream (UK) media, so far as I've noticed. Lots about demonstrations and harsh police crack-downs in other people's countries, and the odd bit about their oil and their disputed elections, but rather less about (Sub-Saharan) Africans, even/especially the ones who're here, and their coltan and disputed elections... which is depressing though predictable.

This is the bit where I try to justify the laptop I'm using to post this blog by insisting that an individual dropping out of modern society is unlikely to help anybody else.

The (barely) reported focus of some protesters on coltan, and on shoppers rushing to buy their smart-phones and game stations, seems fair enough, to me, but I don't want to just live as if the 'information age' isn't in full swing around me any more than I want to go vegan or forswear all motorised transport. Instead, while I don't have or want a car, I happily (wait, happily? I don't do things happily, that was misleading, sorry) use public transport, and I eat eggs from chickens in the village, and I have a (decidedly not smart) mobile phone that just happens to be older than many primary school children (I intend to keep it until it no longer works).

My feeling is of course that, once again, it's the market principle and the growth economy ideal -and their advocates- to blame for the perpetuation of the Congo's assorted woes and by extension mass arrests in London. When the latest games console comes out the price of coltan spikes as millions rush to buy it ASAP, and the fighting to control tenuously grasped Central African deposits is fuelled. There's nothing inherently wrong with owning a phone, if you ask me (at least no more than there is contradiction in drinking coffee while expressing frustration at the socialisation of risk on private profiteering, Mensch), but there's plenty wrong with the Gadget Show. There's nothing inherently wrong with the internal combustion engine, but [censored for Top Gear fury]. And there's nothing wrong with scrambled eggs, but the Colonel can definitely improve the rest of the world by fucking off back to Kentucky.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I think you're a wanker, and I'm going to have a mince pie and maybe play a game on a computer that's as old as I am but still works fine and definitely doesn't need replacing every two years just to sustain a fundamentally unsustainable economic model while killing as many innocent brown people as possible and keeping the fuck up with the bastarding Joneses, who, quite frankly, can go and fuck themselves with the latest in fairy lights.

Er, I mean, play in the snow! Jesus Christ, snow!

Thursday, 6 October 2011


Tories: human rights are bad, foreigners are bad, protest is bad, shelter for poor people is bad, employment is bad, benefits are bad, women are bad, homosexuality is bad, abortion is bad, sex is bad, peace is bad.

Lib Dems:

That's my review of the coalition so far.

Monday, 8 August 2011

SlowRiot for...

In which I lazily/drunkenly copy-past a few meandering thoughts from conversations had during today, and act as if a cohesive journal update is created...

Amongst the things currently pissing me off is the massively retweeted omgimsofuckingsmartandrighteousijustmightcumism that reads, more or less, "To idiots comparing [Enfield/Tottenham] to Egypt revolution: there were 2 million protesters at Cairo's Tahir square and the weren't stealing DVDs"

I'm not seeing many tweets making the comparison. Lots refuting it/them.

It strikes me that Egypt more than has eighty million people, England about fifty million, and Egypt is the better part of ten times poorer as a whole.

The media seems to be focusing on the idea that an initially peaceful protest was carried out after the police shot an alleged petty criminal and that this was then hijacked by violent thugs.

Passing reference by the Beeb -not so much anyone else so far as I've noticed- that this is one of the poorest wards in the UK (in Tottenham, not Enfield so much).

The peaceful demo may have been about the slightly suspect police shooting. The violence is about the fact that the last time anyone cared about Tottenham (not-spur) was during the last riots quarter of a century ago, and the grievances they had then haven't been addressed, and a whole new generation has grown up in the same neglected backwater.

Granted, a lot of people now are just jumping in to get free shit, and have a good ol' ruck, but that's again because they don't have much else going on...

Otherwise, they'd be at home relaxing after work, tweeting about it.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Regarding the Rapture

For my birthday, I have mostly been drinking tea and watching Shane Warne finally retire, presumably to become a travelling hair salesman or something. I was intending to go for a pub meal with my parents, but reports of all-night vomiting from people who ate there mid-week have demoted that idea to Plan-B status, behind doing nothing until tomorrow, then getting drunk.

In any case, regarding tomorrow's other expected events, I'm banking on being left-behind until October. I imagine that by then the sudden influx of a couple of million irate Arab Christians and/or the inheretence of Ireland's/Greece's/America's debt (depending whether they're Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant up there) will have brought low the Kingdom of Heaven, and we heathens and sinners have to decide whether or arrange a bail-out (or a no-fly-zone, because fuck you, cherubs).

Meanwhile, I've inherited a laptop that's somewhat less shite than my broken-down desktop PC, so now I'm working on a fingertip callus from this damnable touchpad. Exciting times.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Yeah, yeah, your opinions...

"...and when I walk up the road to vote, on Thursday, I'm going to be aware that most of the people I pass coming the other way have just voted No. That they've just gone out of their way to diminish the value of my vote, and to act against British democracy. Yet if I pushed them under a passing tractor, I'd be charged with a crime."