Beer before wine...

...and you'll feel fine. Wine before wysgi, whisky, vodka, and more wysgi, and... an egg butty is very much required, along with a protracted period of sitting quietly.

I'm not sure where this post is headed. Probably it'll just be about food. I'm hungry, and I've come here direct from drinking, and chatting shite. I've just realised that I initially posted this without a comma, potentially leading readers to suppose that I'd been drinking shite.

Anyway, in the course of the chatting, I learned that, allegedly, "Bean mince is ace, better than beef."

My first thought, and only direct response, was that, well, "Beef is shite."

I've never quite managed to get entirely on board with vegetarianism, though I don't think it's a bad idea, but the world's obsession with beef is not something I can understand, I've had beef three times in my life, and each time it made me angry for a different reason. And at no point was I a Hindu.

First time, it was a McDonald's burger, given to me by a friend -or someone I'd hitherto thought to be a friend-, and made me angry that he'd tried to palm that crap off on me, and that I couldn't even find a tramp who'd take it off my hands. I'm told that I later trashed that McDonalds, but I've no memory of this alleged incident.

Second time, it was Aberdeen Angus, and I was angry that it cost more than a blow-job from Jebus, and tasted worse than giving him one.

Third time, it was raw, and dipped in some kinda seaweed juice, and I was angry that my girlfriend was Japanese.

To slightly misquote one or other Homer, "Yo, goober, why the beef?"